


I Hear The Beat Of My Heart

by brbhoran (harrylouiz)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, based on listen to your heart, mention of Zerrie, welcome sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:02:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1788088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrylouiz/pseuds/brbhoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has always wanted his music compositions to be famous.<br/>Louis has always wanted to hear one.</p><p>Their worlds collide.</p><p>Based on the film "Listen to Your Heart"</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hear The Beat Of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> very very sorry for this.  
> this is truly an emotional roller coaster.  
> please keep your hands and feet inside at all times.  
> please dont read  
> please

Harry has always wanted a demo.

He'd seen the vintage recording system in the glossy window of his favorite music store for weeks now, and he had been saving money in a shoe box beneath his bed ever since.

It was only 400 pounds, but his job busting tables wasn't piling up cash like he thought it would.

Working at 'Simon's' was tough, most customers came from the poorer side of London, with a few exceptions, but the owner _adored_ him and allowed him to play the piano in the center of the restaurant early mornings and late nights. 

The old piano felt nice under his fingers, and music was his escape. 

Almost any job would be worth it if he could get to compose in between shifts, he thought.

Harry usually stopped by 'George's Press' in the morning to get a newspaper. He only buys one because the man is obviously struggling. 

He just likes to help people, s'all.

He went into work as usual, and starts his shift.

Mid afternoon, he heard the ding of the bells on top of the door, and so he seated the party of three at one of the tables by the windows. They were clearly higher class, their demeanor and their name brand clothing made this a simple fact.

Wealth is not the reason why he couldn't take his eyes off the boy, though. 

He had light brown hair and the bluest eyes Harry'd ever seen.

Without speaking, the boy could light up the room with his presence, it was obvious, and he'd only seen this boy for five minutes, tops.

"What's wrong, Harry? Something wrong with your jaw?" his best mate and co-worker, Zayn, teased.

Harry hadn't realized he was gaping a bit.

"Oh, erm, I'll go get their order I guess." Harry muttered, hiding his blush.

Harry walked across the restaurant and slowly reached the table.

The boy smiled at him as he peered behind his menu.

"How can I help you?" Harry asked him.

"He'll have a caesar salad, no croutons, and my husband and I will split the chicken parmesan." The woman across the table barked. 

Harry kept his gaze on the boy.

"Okay? Did you get that?" The impatient woman asked.

"Erm, yeah, the erm... Could you please repeat that ma'am?" Harry responded.

"I _said_ he'll have a caesar salad, and my husband and I will split the chicken parmesan." she repeated, irritated.

"Damn waiters." she muttered under her breath as she rolled her eyes. "You see, this is why we need to keep you in uni."

The boy frowned.

Harry scrawled the order on his notepad and returned to the kitchen to pin the order on the order list.

Zayn was sprawled in a chair eating chips out of one of the orders waiting to be served.

"C'mon, Zayn." Harry said, "If Simon catches you you'll be dead."

"Yeah, but he's not gonna catch me. I'm on break anyways."

Harry returned a few minutes later to the dining room holding three plates in his arms.

"Here's yours," Harry smiled at the boy.

When they were finished eating, he gave them their check, and they quickly left.

On their way out, Harry ran to the boy with a small piece of paper in his hands.

"You forgot something!"

He handed the boy his name and phone number with a grin.

"Louis, let's go!" the woman, he assumed by now was his mother, yelled.

So his name was Louis.

So posh. If it was anyone else Harry would have hated it.

But it was him, and the name suited him.

Louis gave him a small smile and walked toward their car.

 

Harry waited for the call.

It never came.

He couldn't hide his disappointment. Zayn could tell almost immediately.

"What are you so upset about? Would it happen to be _Louis_? How long has it been, anyways?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure what I was expecting, Zayn. Gosh, I'm so dumb. It's been two weeks. I wish he would have called. Maybe even to confirm how dumb I am."

"Harry, I've known you since we were five. You cannot hide anything from me. Admit it, you're devastated he didn't call."

"Maybe. I don't know. It just seemed there was something different about him." Harry whispered, desperately wanting Zayn to drop it.

He did.

The next day, Harry was in the kitchen eating lunch when Zayn walked into the kitchen with a smile.

"Someone's here to see youuuuu!" he said and gave Harry air kisses from across the room.

Harry laughed and rushed out into the dining hall.

He looked better than before.

His eyes looked even better than before, if that was possible. It was weird. Harry had never quite been infatuated with eyeballs before.

There's a first time for everything, he thought, smiling.

"Hi, Louis, right?"

Louis nodded.

"Why didn't you call?" Harry questioned with a slight frown.

Louis bent down into his bag and pulled out a small notebook and pen.

'I don't have a phone.' he wrote.

"Why not?" Harry asked.

'I'm deaf.' he drew messily, looking anywhere but into Harry's eyes.

"Oh." Harry said.

Louis' face fell.

"Do you have an email?"

 

Later that night, they instant messaged back and forth for two hours. Harry learned Louis had moved to London from Doncaster with his family, and he had _lots_ of sisters. He was attending uni for philosophy.

Louis had learned sign language and to read lips exceptionally at his former school in Doncaster.

He told Louis about his dreams of becoming a musician, and how he wanted to eventually buy 'Simon's.

They set up a date at a fancy restaurant and Louis said he would bring his sign language interpreter to help them have an actual conversation. 

Harry looked forward to the date for the next few days, and they kept up their messaging every evening.

When it finally came down to the night, Harry met Louis at the restaurant and requested a table for three.

The interpreter was a nice lad named Niall. 

His blonde hair was draped in front of his eyes and fit him just right.

Niall's presence was a calming one. 

It was fitting that Niall worked with the deaf.

You could tell Niall was nice without him making a sound.

The date went alright, really well, actually.

It's like Louis was the missing piece in a 500 piece Harry Jigsaw Puzzle.

Something about it just felt.. right.

It sounds cliche, but maybe the movies don't just produce fairytales, he thought that night.

Over the course of dinner, Harry had discovered that although Louis was 21, he had never had a taste of alcohol.

He didn't even have a celebratory 'coming of age' 18th birthday party.

Harry decided he should change that.

So, once they were finished eating, Harry paid for the dinner (with quite a bit of the money from beneath his bed) and they branched from Niall and set out for a pub.

"Hey, guys! It's Louis here's 18th birthday!" Harry announced to the entire bar as they walked inside.

Louis turned a deep shade of red and looked away, laughing.

"If you can't have a real 18th birthday party, you need to at least have a fake one!" Harry whispered to Louis.

Louis and Harry both ended up getting drunk.

Harry was not extremely drunk, only a bit too drunk to drive anywhere, but Louis on the other hand was _wasted_.

As they walked to the street, Harry held his hand up to fare a cab, but Louis pushed it down and fished his notepad from his pocket.

'Can we please just go to your house? My mum'll be pissed if I come home drunk' Louis scrawled.

Harry nodded.

They walked to Harry's flat, which, conveniently was only three blocks away.

Harry didn't speak, only thought about how embarrassed he would be when they got there.

He hadn't picked up because he hadn't expected Louis to spend the night on the first date.

They walked into the flat and Louis smiled.

Harry was relieved; he wasn't sure yet if Louis was secretly a clean freak or anything.

He gave Louis some clothes from his dresser and turned around as he changed.

Lou was drunk, and yes, he had tried to make advances towards Harry, but he wasn't going to take advantage of that.

So he gave Louis his bed for the night,grabbed some pillows and blankets, and headed for the couch.

Anyways, he would _so_ sleep on the couch every night if it meant Louis would be here every morning. Every time his back felt like it was going to break into two, he just pictured Louis. And his eyes. It wasn't long

before Harry was sound asleep.

 

The next day at work, Zayn was very curious on how things had gone the night before.

"Very well, I really like him." Harry had answered.

Zayn shifted his stance, and his expression a bit.

Harry wouldn't have even noticed it if he hadn't of known Zayn practically his whole life.

"What is it, Zayn?"

"It's just.." 

"What?"

"It's just, and sorry I can't get this out of my head, and don't get mad cause you asked-Aren't you worried about things? Think of how hard it will be. Louis is _deaf_. You realize that, right? Let's say things get

serious. He'll never be able to hear your songs. Never be able to hear your laugh, your sighs, your snickers, so much more. And those are important things in a relationship, Harr."

Harry squinted his eyes.

"Yes, those may be important, but they're not the _most_ important." Harry started, "Louis and I have something special, I can see that this early. We have a connection, a spark, an attraction. And to be honest, I think

that's the most important thing. It's not like we can't communicate, anyways. I'm going to learn sign language."

"So you're really serious about him, then?"

He thought for a second.

"Yes. And I'm not going to miss out on something that could be great just because it might be hard. Because everything is hard. You just have to take the good out of it as well." Harry stated.

 

Over the next few weeks, Harry learned every nook and cranny inside Lou's head and vice versa.

Harry was surprised to finally be able to say it, but he was most definitely and most certainly in love with Louis Tomlinson.

The two were constantly inseparable. 

They went ice skating, which was a blast. The amount of times that fell onto each other on the ice was uncountable. 

Harry told Louis about how his mother passed away from cancer three years before and how she was the only family he had left. He gave Louis his mother's favorite bracelet, and showed him the piece of sweater

he had cut from his mothers favorite jumper. He told him how he always keeps it in his pocket, and how he holds between his thumb and index finger it when he's worried.

Harry taught Lou to drive. He was awful at first, they had to start in giant empty parking lots, but, he eventually got the hang of it.

One day, Louis was in a lecture, with Niall as his interpreter, when the professor asked the question "If a tree falls and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Louis thought for a moment before raising his hand.

He signed as Niall spoke for him.

"It depends on what you mean. If you are thinking physically, yes, the vibrations are in the air from the tree making a sound. However, if you're thinking of the mental aspect, no, because there's no one there to

interpret the vibrations to convert it to sound. It's all based on your definition of sound." Niall said.

"Very good, Louis." the professor said.

Some one turned their head and said, "It doesn't matter, he couldn't hear it anyways." and snickered.

When Lou's faces turned into a frown, the boy said "What? How did he even hear that?"

Louis practically sprinted out.

He walked into the bathroom and sprinkled some cold water onto his face.

He was so sick of all of this.

There was a knock on the door and one of his classmates, Liam, walked in.

"Hey, Lou, don't worry about it. Tom's a jerk. All of him and his friends." he said.

Louis nodded.

"Tom is just super jealous of how smart you are. You can do so much considering." 

He wrapped Louis into a hug.

The next day, in late spring, Harry and Louis went bike riding, Louis on the handlebars.

The weather was unusually warm and the cool wind was so refreshing as it hit their faces when they soared down a hill.

After the bike ride, they sat down to have a picnic. It was then when they had their first fight.

They had just finished making out after feeding each other some strawberries.

It was some conversation about music.

Louis revealed he had always wanted to attend music school, since before he lost his hearing as a child, and that his philosophy degree was completely his mother's decision.

Harry told him to do it.

Just drop out.

Re-enroll in the fall.

Louis disagreed, signing that he was deaf, and would never even hear music, so there's really no point in majoring in it. Not to mention his mother would kill him.

"You're not afraid of your mother, or your hearing! You're afraid of yourself! Of what you can accomplish!" Harry yelled.

They argued for about five minutes before Louis stormed off.

When he returned home, his mother was back from her business trip in Italy.

Niall had accidentally let it slip that Louis was seeing someone.

And she did not think Harry was an acceptable candidate.

Harry was poor.

Louis was rich.

"I will NOT have you seeing that boy, Louis!" she yelled.

Louis couldn't even defend himself. His mother had never bothered to learn sign language.

She took his computer, and promised that he would not get it back until the summer was over.

After, in the kitchen, she blocked Harry's email and messaged Harry, posing as Lou, saying that he would be gone for the summer on a trip to Europe, and to not bother emailing.

Days later, he snuck into the kitchen and stumbled upon his laptop, he opened it, and saw a new message from Harry.

'I'm sorry, but I've moved on.' It read.

Louis ran into his room, and ripped his bracelet from Harry off.

What Lou didn't know what that his mother had sent the email from a fake one, knowing that Louis would open the laptop.

"Worked like a charm." she muttered under her breath hours later when she found the laptop, and picked the bracelet off the cold floor.

 

Harry would not relent.

He tried for hours, every day, every night, trying to get a hold of Louis.

He wrote letters.

He emailed.

With no response.

He called Liam, who had become one of their good friends before Louis had left for Europe, asking if he knew when Lou would be back.

"What do you mean? Louis never left." Liam asked, confused.

"What?"

"Yeah, I, I just saw him a few days ago."

"Listen, Liam, do you have his address?" Harry questioned.

"Sure, d'you want it?"

"Yes please"

The next night, Harry took a cab to Louis' house and walked up the long driveway, and walked through the large opened gate.

There was a lot of cars parked in the driveway, so he suspected there was a party of some sorts going on.

He let himself through the front door.

Lou's mother spotted him first.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she yelled.

"I need to see him! NOW." he commanded.

"He doesn't want to see you." she said with a smirk.

"Let him tell me that."

Louis appeared from the top of the grand staircase, and signed

"Leave." and then walked into one of the ornate doors at the end of the hallway.

The security grabbed Harry and pushed him out the door.

Harry wasn't going without a fight, though.

He squirmed and kicked, yelling, all the way to the street.

"What did I do?" he cried.

"Louis!"

Louis stood watching on his bedroom balcony, holding back tears.

A few days later, he had found a box underneath some blankets.

He curiously opened it and saw at least twenty letters, all addressed to him.

From Harry.

His heart skipped.

His mother walked in with Niall, and her face turned bright red.

"I told you to get rid of those!" she angrily yelled at Niall.

"I didn't have the heart to. I didn't know he'd find them!"

Louis grabbed the letters and ran upstairs.

 

Harry tried to forget Louis by immersing himself in music.

Simon had overheard him late one night, writing a song.

He was so into his lyrics that he hadn't heard Simon walk out from his office.

"Write that yourself?" he asked, making Harry jump.

"Erm, yeah. Yeah."

"How would you like to come perform at the restaurant tomorrow night? It'd be good for business." Simon said.

"Sure, Simon. That'd be great." he replied.

The next morning, he made a bunch of signs promoting his gig that evening and ran around the city hanging them up with Zayn.

They had a lot of fun running along the streets with staple guns trying hang them up as fast as possible.

It was one of the first moments had truly had a good time since, well, Louis.

He made a call to Liam, asked him to come, and to try to bring Louis.

"We'll be there." he had confirmed.

At sundown, Lou's mother dropped them off two blocks from 'Simon's' and they promised to shop for a tux for his cousin's upcoming wedding.

When they thought she was gone, they started to run towards the restaurant.

The adrenaline coursed through the air and the giggled as the sprinted with smiles of rebellion on their faces.

But, they didn't wait long enough apparently, because his mother was at the end of the block with her arms crossed.

"You think I wouldn't know? Get in the car."

Anger bubbled inside of Louis, and he finally had the courage to let it go.

"No." Louis spoke, for the first time in years.

"You can't keep treating me like a child. I'm 21. You can't control me!" he said, raising his voice.

"If you want to keep going to college and living in my house, then yes, I can." she yelled.

"Then I won't." Louis yelled back. He gave his mother the finger, turned around, and ran.

He only knew one place where he felt safe, so he sprinted to Harry's flat.

His mother followed him, and arrived around the same time in her car, and Louis grudgingly got in.

 

At the gig, the crowd was loving Harry.

The entire restaurant was packed and Simon couldn't be happier.

"You can perform like this anytime you want, star." Simon had whispered into his ear between songs.

Every time the door opened Harry flinched and looked towards it.

He was so anxious to see Lou.

But, when Liam showed up with a frown, and no Louis, Harry's heart sunk.

"You know, he really tried to be here tonight." Liam said, in a comforting voice.

Bullshit.

It was really over.

As soon as the concert ended, he walked slowly home, and reached for the key to his apartment in his pants pocket.

He saw a flash of white on the call box in his peripheral vision, and after reaching on the dusty top of it, he found a letter addressed to him.

From Louis.

He went to bed that night with a smile on his face.

So there was hope.

The next morning Louis was busy cleaning up the dishes, and he turned to throw away some blueberry muffin wrappers when he glanced upon a letter in the garbage.

It was opened, addressed to him, and it was from "The London Institute of Cochlear Implanting".

He read the letter, which said he had qualified for receiving implants that would restore his hearing, tears brushing his eyelashes and running down his cheeks.

Niall came, and seeing Louis, went and got his mother.

"I think Louis found something upsetting, mind checking on him?"

His mother came and the blood rushed out of her face, she turned white as a ghost.

"You weren't supposed to see that."

He dropped the letter and ran outside.

Niall picked it up, and glancing at it, ran after him.

His mum followed, trying to redeem herself.

Louis was headed towards the car.

"What are doing?" she questioned.

"How the hell could you throw the letter away? You don't want him to hear again? You want to control him forever then?" Niall said, disgusted.

Niall got into the passenger seat, and Louis in the driver's.

"Niall, if you leave, you're fired." she warned.

"Well then," he started, "I quit." he smiled.

"Louis! You don't even know how to drive!" she yelled, and they sped out the driveway.

Louis made the turn perfectly.

At the same time, at Harry's, Zayn was over, and they were just hanging around watching t.v. and eating crisps.

There was a football game on, the World Cup in fact, and England was losing to Italy.

After the game, they just stared at the infomercial on the screen.

"Got anything to read?" Zayn asked, clearly bored.

"Well, not really. I have a bunch of newspapers, though." Harry replied.

Zayn turned towards the stack of papers and tilted his head.

"Why do you have all of those? Do you even read them?" he asked.

"No, not really. I've never been much of a reader." 

"Then why..?"

"Because the man selling them needs me to. He's a good man. But he'd be on the streets if no one bought his papers. I'm a steady customer for him." Harry explained.

Zayn nodded with respect, and walked into the kitchen to make something to eat.

He had just finished making some bags of microwave popcorn when he saw Harry shaking, laying on the floor, head parallel to the ceiling.

 

Harry opened his eyes.

In the corner of the room was Louis, who had a pained expression on his face.

"You came." Harry smiled.

Lou nodded.

They locked fingers and Louis laid his head on Harry's chest.

After a few moments, the doctor came into the room and Louis took a seat next to the hospital bed next to Zayn.

"I'm sorry to say this, but it's not good news." he frowned.

"The seizure was caused by the formation of a tumor on your brain. It's the mid-stages of Astrocytomas Gliomas. It's taken control of many cells inside your longitudinal fissure."

His voice cracked.

"There's been no cases of survival. You have a few months left."

Louis cried out and reached for Harry's hand once again.

The doctor spoke once again. 

"We can prolong it with chemo treatments but past that, it's in the hands of God."

Harry's eyes were hollow. He looked straight forward and thoughts raced in his head.

'A few _months?_ Why did this have to happen to _him?'_ he thought. He would never get his fairy tale after all.

Harry started to lose his hair.

His favorite feature, his curly locks, fell to the ground in clumps during showers, and with a heavy heart, he took a buzzer and razor and shaved it all off.

He wore a beanie practically everywhere after that.

Louis loved him just the same, though.

They tried to stay positive.

They have couple's game night once a week now, with Zayn and his girlfriend Perrie.

They were playing a question game one night, when the question 'If you can you never have enough of?' came up.

Perrie and Zayn, thinking alike, both wrote down 'shoes', and smiled when they read one another's cards.

Louis wrote 'a good book', and smiled once he turned his slip around.

Harry revealed his, which said 'Love'.

"C'mon, this is suppose to be something like shoes, or a good book! Stop trying to make this serious!" Perrie laughed.

Harry chuckled.

"It's true though. You can never have too much love in your life." he replied, which came with a kiss to Lou's lips.

A few weeks later, Harry was officially deemed too weak to leave the hospital.

He was trapped.

Confined.

Louis made sure to visit everyday, though.

He had finally broken the news about the letter of cochlear implants.

"Louis, why didn't you tell me!" he exclaimed.

'I didn't want to worry you.' he signed.

"Worry me? This makes me so happy! You need to do it!"

'I don't know. I don't want to be without you. The surgery takes a whole 24 hours.' 

"I'll be fine, trust me." Harry said, and enveloped Louis into a hug.

'Can I tell you something?' Louis signed once again.

"Anything." 

"I love you." Louis spoke.

Harry grinned.

"I love you, too."

After a couple chemo sessions, Harry felt great.

Tonight, Louis would receive his implants and finally hear the world for the first time in a long time.

He had visited that morning and you could tell how high strung he was with nerves.

Zayn was going to leave to grab lunch that afternoon, and Harry asked if he would please get the box beneath his bed.

When Zayn got back, Harry stood up from his bed for the first time in days and put on his coat.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zayn asked.

"We're going out."

Zayn looked puzzled.

"Well, at least I'm going out. It's up to you to come with me." he smirked.

Zayn sighed, put on his coat, and they both snuck out of the East Wing of the hospital.

Once they got outside, Harry was struck by how cold it was. Staying inside for so long had for sure messed with his season relativity. 

Harry had started walking.

"So, meet me at Simon's in an hour." he said.

"What?" Zayn shot out.

"Meet me-"

"No, I mean, _yeah_ _right_. I can't leave you alone."

"Well, you will. Meet.me.at.Simon's.in.an.hour." Harry said, gritting his teeth.

Zayn once again sighed.

"Fine." he shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

Harry continued walking.

He walked all the way to George's Press. 

"Hey, George." he said when he got there.

"Hey, Harry! Haven't seen you in a while! Been on vacation with that handsome boyfriend of yours?" George said with a wink.

"Something like that."

He shifted his stance.

"I'd like to buy some newspapers, please."

"Sure" George said, "How many?"

"Five hundred, please." 

George looked up, very confused.

"What?"

"I said, Five hundred please."

George stood with his mouth open for a few seconds, and shook his head. He embraced Harry in his arms.

"Thank you." he smiled.

Harry gave him six wadded up twenty pound bills, and started to walk towards Simon's.

When he got there, Zayn was standing in front of something he'd dreamed of for so long.

"Surprise." he said.

"Zayn-" he started.

"Don't worry about it. C'mon, time to play."

Zayn helped Harry set up his guitar, and later the old piano, and recorded a few songs for his long-awaited demo.

The keys of the piano were just as he remembered them, so familiar, so calming.

When they were done, they walked back to the hospital.

Harry was starting to lose his breath, and could barely walk when they had reached the hospital.

The nurses quickly escorted him to his room and hooked him to a breathing tube on a ventilator.

They scalded Zayn, and told him Harry could have died out in the cold, making Zayn feel bad.

Later, when they let Zayn visit, Harry looked awful.

His eyes looked more sullen than ever, but Harry still cracked a smile.

"Hey Zayn."

"Hey Harry. You look great!"

Harry laughed.

They talked some more a bit, and when Harry fell asleep, Zayn settled into one of the chairs by the windows.

He awoke to the frantic nurses running about the room.

"Code blue, we need the doctor, immediately." one said.

They shooed Zayn out.

About an hour later, the doctor came to get him.

"I'm sorry, but you only have a few hours." he said.

Zayn ran to Harry's room.

He looked worse than before, what with the million tubes hooked everywhere.

He wished Louis could be here soon.

His surgery was just ending, but Harry didn't have much time left.

'Hurry..' he thought.

But soon, Harry's heartbeat started getting fainter, and quieter, until it beat for the last time.

Zayn cried as he let go of his best mate's cold hand and they pulled the sheet over Harry's body.

It was at that moment when Louis walked in with some daisies, Harry's favorite, and with a smile on his face.

Louis dropped the vase, and sunk to his knees.

He couldn't see through his tears.

 

A few days later, they had the funeral.

It was a rainy day, and they stood huddled in the cemetery with umbrellas, Louis brushing tears away and holding onto Zayn.

Liam, Perrie, Simon, George, and a bunch of people Louis had never seen before were there.

They all had great stories of Harry to share.

It just made Louis's heart ache more.

He didn't want to hear in a world without Harry's laugh.

Or his sighs.

Or his snickers.

At the end, Louis threw some dirt onto the coffin and whispered his final goodbyes to Harry.

Zayn slipped Louis a package.

"What's this?" Louis questioned.

"Something. From Harry." Zayn answered, and gave a weak fake smile.

Louis didn't want to go home.

He didn't want to open the package.

He went to Harry's flat instead.

He was so angry.

He would never get his happy ending.

He threw clothes off hangers in the closet, he smashed a few plates, he screamed until he couldn't.

He took Harry's favorite sweater, the one with grey stripes, and cut a square of the soft fabric.

And he cried himself to sleep on Harry's couch, breathing in the scent of him throughout the air.

When he awoke, the pain hit him just as hard as when he had fallen asleep.

But he glanced at the package on the coffee table, and ripped it open.

Inside it was a note.

_Dear Louis,_

_I will always treasure the time we spent together._

_Someone once told me that it wasn't worth the struggle it would be to fall in love with you._

_But now, after everything we've gone through, I can honestly say I was so lucky._

_Everything in life is hard._

_Our love was hard._

_But you have to take the good out of everything._

_And I know when I see you smile, I got the best thing there is in life._

_Love._

_You can never have too much love._

_And I thank you for giving me enough love to last me a lifetime._

_Play this when you're sad, when you're happy, when you're angry, when you fall in love again._

_Yours always,_

_Harry._

Louis reached inside the package and saw a CD with his name on it.

He grabbed a CD player and slipped it inside.

Harry's voice was wonderful.

The way it went up and down and across octaves quickly was amazing and Louis was completely in love with it.

He was so thankful for this, he'd have to give Zayn a call later.

Something in the package gave Louis the courage to dial the phone and do something he should have done a long time ago.

And later, on his first day of music school, Louis is so happy that he met Harry.

Harry was right, all those months ago.

Louis could accomplish so much more than he gave himself credit for.

He visits Harry’s grave frequently, to talk, and one time his mother came with him.

“You were right. I’ve never admitted that.” She said.

Louis stayed silent.

His mother reached out and places a daisy next to the grave.

She also took out the bracelet from forever ago, and slid it on Lou’s wrist.

Louis loves walking through the busy sounds of downtown London and hearing everything that Harry loved about the world.

He loves visiting Zayn and Simon at the newly-named "Harry's".

And he thinks, maybe you can have too much love in your life.

Because he sure has enough to last forever.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm very sorry but i warned you to not read this  
> i am sad  
> very sad  
> tumblr- harrylouiz.tumblr.com
> 
> thank you to my wonderful beta and friend: Lucy


End file.
